My Daily

But I wasn’t though, I was thinking do you even know, that on a daily I am losing control, I don’t even know if I go away, would you beg me to stay, I have so many thoughts on a daily, I feel like I am stepping outside of my body, My mirror sessions seem to not be helping with this depression, Self diagnosing like I’ve had medical school lessons, I need something right now, The pressure I keep on me, got me stressing out and all I can do is go down for the count, I’m thinking about talking to you, but then again what can that do, I guess I should go away, I’m tired of the scene on my face not being seen and nobody knowing what I need, It’s like everyone is blind to me, I remember when I used to be down on my knees praying to a sky-daddy, Waiting for him to come and save me, Now I am still here with the same things, It’s like my world is moving slow and to be honest I don’t even know, Where does someone like me go, tears only stain as they fall from my face, I thought I was someone’s good grace, Walking around with a fake smile to displace others disrespectfully invading my space, Been played so many times, that I know no-one really wants me for sho’, Is this what they call pain and I know my life isn’t anybody’s right now, The heartache is turning into shame, and every time I close my eyes I am wired to stay awake, I am breaking down as I try to find a solution from this path I am on right now, Why am I so closed off, My pride won’t let me show how soft I am becoming when I get played by another one, Can’t someone tell I am hurting inside, I’m sure not, because I see how replaceable I be, Hopefully one day soon the resolution will grant me internal peace and I can go on and do for me… 10/16/2021