Your Delivery Sucks

My post content

Today gave me yet another reminder that how you say something matters just as much as what you're saying.

I was getting myself settled in for the workday. One of my morning routines is wiping down my desk and organizing everything before I start working. It helps me clear my mind and begin the day feeling prepared.

As I was cleaning, I had a piece of paper sitting on the edge of my workspace. Our desks are separated by glass dividers with metal framing along the top. The paper was resting up there because I hadn't gotten around to moving it yet.

The coworker next to me decided he wanted to clean the same area. Fair enough.

But instead of saying, "Could you move your paper for a second so I can wipe that down?" he looked at me and said, "Are you going to move this?"

Now, because I know him, I wasn't surprised. It's his delivery. It always has been.

What amazes me is how many people don't realize that manners still matter. People often focus so much on what they're trying to accomplish that they completely ignore how they're coming across.

The paper wasn't the issue.

The cleaning wasn't the issue.

The issue was the delivery.

There's a huge difference between:

"Could you please move your paper so I can clean this area?"

and

"Are you going to move this?"

One approach is respectful. The other sounds impatient and entitled.

The funny thing is that I've watched this same person interact with others over and over again. He steps on toes without realizing it. He asks personal questions that aren't his business. He inserts himself into conversations that don't concern him. Then he seems genuinely confused when people stop talking to him or become offended by something he said.

Here's a news flash: everybody's business isn't your business.

And not every thought needs to be spoken exactly the way it enters your mind.

A little kindness costs nothing.

A little courtesy goes a long way.

Most people aren't offended by requests. They're offended by disrespect.

You can ask for the same thing and get completely different results depending on how you deliver it.

Think about it. When someone approaches you with kindness, you're usually willing to help. When someone approaches you with attitude, even a simple request can feel like a confrontation.

That's why delivery matters.

Your words may be right.

Your point may be valid.

Your request may even be reasonable.

But if your delivery sucks, that's what people will remember.

At some point, we all have to stop wondering why people pull away, stop sharing, or stop engaging with us and start examining the way we communicate.

Because sometimes the problem isn't the message.

It's the messenger.

And sometimes, quite frankly, your delivery sucks.

Final Thought

Before you speak, ask yourself one simple question:

"Would I want someone to say this to me the way I'm about to say it to them?"

The answer might save you a lot of strained relationships and hurt feelings.

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